Just The Way It Is

In all my life, I've known the worst kind of men.

I've known the kind that commit incest
I've known the kind that rapes
I've known the violent ones
I've known the bully
I've known the coward and the shameless
I've known the cheat and the con man

Never have I met any like you.

So forgive me if I seem shock at your differing,
Forgive me if I jump at the slightest touch.
Forgive me if I cower when all you present is a hug.
Forgive me if in spite of your differences,
I fear you could be like those that came before you.

Considerations

I have contemplated closing down this blog. But the main reason I started it in the first place keeps niggling at me. Being a private person, i have found it difficult to share my story. Its not the audience that matters rather the fact that these thoughts needs to come out. Mine is not a new story, most people I'm sure has gone through it same way i did. However we all have different strenghts in dealing with our experiences. If in opening up, i get to help or reach just one person, i shall be glad. So I will be starting over

The Substance of A True Woman

There was a meltdown in the order of things
My life was thrown into disarray
In the hands of a wicked man

So i left my life to go to war
To battle against the odds
Piece by piece, to gather and restore

It is almost two years and i'm barely standing
The damaged done to different areas of my life and existence
seems endless
Barely standing, but at least the wicked man
is no longer in my bed

Slowly i can breathe again
Slowly i take my step
Slowly i regain my strenght
Slowly i recollect who i was before he came to view

Slowly but surely i am standing
With the Almighty God as my strong hold
I am coming up
You are no longer sinking my glory

I no longer hold a grudge
I am no longer bitter but
I'll surely never forget
Watch this space for i am breathing
I am stepping up, regaining strength
To exhibit the substance of a true woman

Diary of an Unborn Child

Found this article in the AWAKE magazine printed in May 1980.

.........

OCTOBER 5:

Today my life began. My parents do not know it yet, but it is I already. And I am to be a girl. I shall have blond hair and blue eyes. Just about everything is settled though, even the fact that I shall love flowers.

OCTOBER 19:

Some say that I am not a real person yet, that only my mother exists. But I am a real person, just as a small crumb of bread is yet truly bread. My mother is. And I am.

OCTOBER 23:

My mouth is just beginning to open now. Just think, in a year or so I shall be laughing and later talking. I know what my first word will be: MAMA.

OCTOBER 25:

My heart began to beat today all by itself. From now on it shall gently beat for the rest of my life without ever stopping to rest! And after many years it will tire. It will stop, and then I shall die.

NOVEMBER 2:

I am growing a bit every day. My arms and legs are beginning to take shape. But I have to wait a long time yet before those little legs will raise me to my mother’s arms, before these little arms will be able to gather flowers and embrace my father.

NOVEMBER 12:

Tiny fingers are beginning to form on my hands. Funny how small they are! I’ll be able to stroke my mother’s hair with them.

NOVEMBER 20:

It wasn’t until today that the doctor told mom that I am living here under her heart. Oh, how happy she must be! Are you happy, mom?

NOVEMBER 25:

My mom and dad are probably thinking about a name for me. But they don’t even know that I am a little girl. I want to be called Kathy. I am getting so big already.

DECEMBER 10:

My hair is growing. It is smooth and bright and shiny. I wonder what kind of hair mom has?

DECEMBER 13:

I am just about able to see. It is dark around me. When mom brings me into the world it will be full of sunshine and flowers. But what I want more than anything is to see my mom. How do you look, mom?

DECEMBER 24:

I wonder if mom hears the whispering of my heart? Some children come into the world a little sick. But my heart is strong and healthy. It beats so evenly: tup-tup, tup-tup. You’ll have a healthy little daughter, mom!

DECEMBER 28:

Today my mother killed me.  — Anonymous

............

My opinion


Abortion is something i do not stand for or against. Its not something you do just for the fun of it. Its something you do because one situation or other pushes you to it.

It is easy to say you are against something you really have no experience about. And until you find yourself in a similar situation, you cannot predict what your decision is to be.

Would love to go on but i'm more interested in what you think

In Your Absence

In Your Absence

My eyes thirsts to behold you again

My fingers tingles in readiness to touch your skin

My heart thumps like horses hooves, against my ribs

at the memories of our last day together.

My body aches from the loss of your touch

It awaits, the soft kisses, you love to trail

from head to toe.

The loving whispers of promises to keep

It remembers all your luscious kisses,

and your warm embrace.

The slow rhythm of our love making,

and the sweet punishment when passion

kept us up till morning dew.

All that I am, misses you so.

I have nothing but memories,

daydreams and our song to keep my

loneliness at bay.

Together, they cast a spell to satiate the

hunger, raging within.

Hurry on home my handsome prince.

The magic of our song, can only do so much

My heart still feel hollow without you around.

The rib, the potter took, misses its rightful place

at your side.

Florence

Reprinted from http://soulfulladies.blogspot.com/

Somewhere I Have Never Travelled

A poem by E.E.Cummings.


somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look will easily unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;
nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility:whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands

If.......

If  someone should stand right in front of you,you'd notice them
If someone should break down and cry, you'd notice them
If someone should seek your helping hand, you'd be there in a flash

Except when that person is; someone, invisible, unimportant and
inconsequential in your world. Someone you deemed unworthy of your
friendship, love or affection.

- Me -

You saw me as a trivial part of your life and acted accordingly.
You treated me like i was invisible. You looked right through me,
walked right by me and sometimes, even walked all over me.
Still I stood, waiting patiently to be noticed by you.

When you did look up, it was to spit venomous words.
To damage my spirit. When you did act, it was to show me the
devil you really were. You showed me the other side of love

I could have gotten angry I supposed. I could have played an eye for an eye.
Tell the world, you were despicable. Exposed you for the black hole you really were.
I could have left I know. But love kept my feet firmly on the ground.

Had you bothered, you would have seen eyes filled with love
Arms ready to enfold you in a loving embrace.
Courage, strength and support, ready to stand by your side
Instead you wasted time on looking elsewhere, for what was standing right in front of you.